LET'S TALK ABOUT MANNERS, SHALL WE?

Manners are funny. We all think we know them. Please, thank you, don't chew with your mouth open, easy enough. And yet, you'd be surprised how many people seem to have collectively decided that some of the most basic rules of social etiquette are optional. And I get it. Not everyone had the chance to be taught these things.

Because at the end of the day, manners aren’t about being perfect, or snob, they aren’t some dusty, old-fashioned thing that nobody cares about anymore, they’re about being considerate.

So, let's go over a few basic 101. Some are obvious. Some are wonderfully old-fashioned. And some you probably didn't even know existed.

Always say hello and ALWAYS say goodbye.

This one should be obvious, but apparently it isn't.

If you walk into a party, you say hello. And when you leave, you say goodbye. Especially to your host.

Don't sneak out! I don't care if you're in a rush or if it's suddenly past your bedtime. It doesn't matter if it's a super casual event or a blacktie gala. Don't just say goodbye to one or two friends and go. You go find your host, even if you don't know them very well. Wait until they're finished whatever they're doing if you have to. Thank them for having you and say goodbye.

And while we're at it: please and thank you. They cost absolutely nothing, and you'd be amazed how many people seem to have misplaced them.

Please, don't say “Nice to meet you.”

This one is very old-school, and I love it. When you're being introduced to someone for the first time, say: “How do you do?”

Not “How do you do?” as an actual question requiring a detailed report on how their day is going. It's simply the traditional formal greeting. And if they say “How do you do?” back, you don't launch into your life story. You simply continue the introduction “How do you do? It's a pleasure to meet you.”

"Nice to meet you" is extremely provincial.

Always hold your glass by the stem.

Wine glass? Champagne flute? Stem. If the glass has one, you hold it. (AKA NOT like the woman in the picture above!)

Not wrapped around the bowl with your entire hand like it's a football. Besides being more elegant, holding the stem keeps your hands from warming the wine and leaving fingerprints all over the glass.

It's a tiny detail, but once you notice it, you can't unsee it.

Pass the salt AND pepper together.

Never separate them. If someone asks you for the salt, hand them the salt and pepper together. They are a pair. They travel together. They are not getting divorced on your dinner table.

Break your bread. Don't cut it.

At a properly set table, bread is broken with your hands, never sliced with your dinner knife. Yes even if you get the chance to eat with King Charles, you will break your bread with your hands, and he will too. Take a small piece, break it off, butter that piece, and eat it. Don't butter the entire roll and then attack it like a sandwich.

Your napkin goes on your lap.

As soon as you're seated, place your napkin on your lap.

Not tucked into your collar. Not left on the table while you eat. And certainly not used to wipe your lipstick off the rim of your wine glass. When you go to the bathroom, your napkin goes on your chair. When you're completely done with dinner and ready to leave the table, only then, you can place yourr napkin neatly on the left side of your plate.

And please, stop clinking glasses.

I know. I know. Everyone does it.

But the story behind it is actually pretty fascinating: Back in medieval times, people would clink their glasses hard enough that the drinks could splash from one glass into the other, proving that no one had secretly poisoned your drink

Cute story. But we're drinking out of crystal now, So don't cling your glasses together like you're at a college tailgate. Simply lift your glass and smile. It's more than enough!

Don't monopolize the conversation.

Conversation is a tennis match, not a TED Talk.

If you've been talking for five minutes and haven't asked the other person a single question, it's probably time to hand them the ball. Oh and please don't constantly redirect every story back to yourself.

"Oh, you went to Italy? I went to Italy too..."
"Your daughter is starting college? My daughter..."

We get it. You have a life.

NEVER comment on someone's body.

"Ohhh, you gained a few pounds since Christmas, huh?"

Why? Why would you ever say that?

You don't know what someone is going through, whether they've gained weight, lost weight, are pregnant, aren't pregnant, are sick, are grieving, are struggling or simply had a giant plate of pasta at lunch.

Keep comments about other people's bodies to yourself.

Take small bites.

This one is both practical and polite.

Your bites should be small enough that if someone asks you a question while you're eating, they don't have to sit there watching you chew for three business days before you can answer.

You should be able to participate in the conversation throughout the meal. Everyone is hungry, but small bites girlfriend.

Talk to people you don't know.

This might be my biggest one.

You arrive at a party and immediately find the one person you know. Then you spend the entire evening talking exclusively to them.

Congratulations. You've successfully attended a party without actually meeting anyone and you might even have created a clique without even realizing. Be open and confident enough to go talk to everyone. Prep a few good stories or safe topics and fun questions beforehand.

If you're wearing lipstick, drink from the same spot on your glass.

This is one of those tiny details that makes a surprisingly big difference.

Rather than leaving lipstick marks all around the rim of your glass, choose one spot and consistently drink from it. It keeps the glass looking cleaner.

Don't eat directly from a communal bowl.

Nuts, olives, chips, berries, whatever is being shared, should make a little pit stop on your own plate or a small napkin before they make their way to your mouth.

Please don't reach into the communal bowl, grab an olive with your fingers and put it directly in your mouth. Your fingers have been everywhere. The olives don't need to know where.

No elbows on the table.

This one has been drilled into generations of children for good reason.

That's enough for today! Hope that didn't bore you to death with this, haha! As always thanks for reading!

Xoxo